Attempts to Punch Fear in the Face, [9/10], 5pm (open)

[Alexandra Neuville]

It needs to be done. Alexandra thought to herself. She had become determine to get over this unreasonable fear that prevented her from riding in a closed carriage. All it did was make her hands damp, while screaming at the top of her lungs or frozen with the same fear. The young lady was logical and fearless in most situations, but this one continued to elude her causing her to become angry as well. It did not help that her husband had to drug her to get her to pass out whilst her curren condition. How would Rochester put it? Fuck.

So the fiery-haired woman set the scene. She had asked to borrow a driver and an enclosed carriage for several hours and to informed him that his payment for his services and patience were to be a day's wage with a bonus.

She tried her best to find a more deserted piece of road, but settled for her the little bit of road closer to Henry VIII Gateway. The woman set a goal for herself. She was to manage to ride in the carriage with the door closed from the Lower Ward towards the Upper Ward. Of course, it was much easier in her mind as she sat in the carriage having asked the driver to go and stop for an hour now.

Alexandra imagined the driver having about run out of patience, but quite honestly, she did not care. She was paying him, her money is good, and this was supposed to be at her pace and no one else's.

[Joanna Craven]

Having just finished a very long, invigorating walk about the Great Park and the exterior of the castle, Joanna was feeling quite, quite fatigued. She had overstretched herself by leaps and bounds and was now suffering for it. Her feet throbbed persistently—not too painfully, thank goodness, but she knew that the discomfort would only grow with the hours. She would be feeling tender from the constant pressure in the morning and there might even be a blister or two, she feared. She really needed to learn to rein in her enthusiasm and to graciously heed Deedee's very gentle suggestions that perhaps they ought to turn back. Which the kindly woman had made a total of six times that afternoon, the last of which when Joanna had declared her intention of circumnavigating the castle rather than cutting straight to the South Tower. Sometimes, the young blonde could be a bit unthoughtful and foolish, although she would be the first to admit to it after the fact.

Joanna was certainly feeling duly penitent as she and her companion—whose own feet were grumbling and groaning with every step—rounded Salisbury Tower and walked past the gate named for the eighth King Henry. Being so near to the castle, there were a plethora of sounds permeating the air: voices of all sexes, near and far, accompanied by the usual tapping and stomping of feet; the distant clomping of hooves and clattering of wheels. However, there was one curious sound that leaped out and momentarily captured the full power of Joanna's ears. Somewhere quite close to them was a carriage which was behaving very oddly. She could hear bursts and shudders of movement, distinguishable from other hubbub due to a rut in one of the wheels that made a very specific sound as it thudded and scraped against the path, and yet the vehicle seemed incapable of prolonged motion.

Curious, Joanna urged Deedee to bring her closer, at which point she was informed that there was a lone red-haired occupant of the carriage who appeared to be somewhat distressed…but that there didn't seem to be a problem with the carriage itself. Torn between banishing the niggles from her mind by seeking an answer and not wishing to intrude where she might be unwelcome and was certainly unneeded, Joanna's will collapsed with embarrassing alacrity. Ah, but was it not better to offer friendly assistance than to pass by? It was merely polite. Thoughtful. "Do onto others…", so the saying went.

Joanna made certain that Deedee did not bring her too close, for she did not wish to crowd the woman, but she was near enough to converse comfortably. Two mildly concerned blue eyes peered out from under a dark brown straw hat. "Pardon the presumptuous interruption, but are you perchance in need of aid?" she inquired. "Or perhaps a more compliant horse?" That last was said lightly.

"I do not see, I am afraid, but I could nonetheless chase up one who could be of greater use," she offered with an easy smile.

Not having even a tiny notion of what to expect in reply, Joanna fell silent and hoped that her friendly expression would be interpreted just as it was meant.

[Alexandra Neuville]

Joanna would have heard the words, "STOP STOP...okay go...STOP..."

After the last stop, she sat in the carriage quietly feeling soaked with sweat as she tried to work through the fear. So not as easy as before. Alexandra thought to herself and began to feel sorry for herself as the carriage had now come to a full halt once again the driver muttering while the horse stamped a hoof.

Alexandra had mustered up some courage to make a new attempt when she heard someone out of her window and the address seemed to be directed towards her. The fiery-haired girl looked out to see a lovely blond woman standing and listened to her words of not being able to see but that she would make attempts to find her a more compliant horse.

"Uhm...My apologises on the confusion. Sadly, it is not the driver or horse that is the problem, it is the passenger." Then Alexandra sighed heavily then fell silent. "Would you care to have a seat inside and rest? I do admit a break may be necessary and you would be saving me from further embarrassment." The young lady offered needing a temporary reprieve and the other woman looked rather tired to Alexandra despite her friendly expression.

[Joanna Craven]

Joanna looked duly concerned and sympathetic as the red-haired woman hinted at having personal trouble. After the sigh, she was about to make her excuses and walk away, unsure of what to say, except then the lady spoke again.

"Oh!" Joanna exclaimed, quite surprised and pleased by the offer. "That is very kind of you! I have walked quite a ways this afternoon—too far, if I am honest!—and so I shall happily accept."

Deedee was quick to open the door and help her mistress up and in, though given that she wasn't needed once Joanna was safely seated, she remained in earshot outside should she be required.

"I am Joanna Craven, eldest daughter of the Earl of Craven," said the blind girl, this time remembering her introductions. "It is a pleasure to meet you, though I wish the circumstances were less stressful for you." Her lips pursed briefly.

"In all truth," she added, "I have never felt completely relaxed in carriages either. As a child, I was most unsettled when we travelled. I felt at once trapped and lost, as I wasn't able to see where we were headed and had no way to ground myself, so to speak.

"It is no embarrassment to have fears, even if others cannot understand them or even think them silly," she said with quiet firmness. "It speaks volumes to your strength of character that you would face your apprehension!"

[Alexandra Neuville]

The beautiful woman seemed amiable and the latch was pulled back to allow Joanna aboard. Then the door closed which is about as far as she had gotten comfortable with. Of course, the last time she was instructed to close the door the screams had gurgled out of her mouth almost causing a riot. Men were at the point of pulling her acting instructor out of the closed carriage probably to tar and feather him for attempts on assaulting her.

"Welcome Joanna. I am Alexandra Neuville, the granddaughter to the Constable of Cornwall." Her voice was warm and friendly, but a hint of strain and hoarseness could perhaps also be heard with heightened sense. "It is quite all right, Lady Joanna. I have determined that this particular fear is rather irritating me more than gripping my heart. While others find some safety of the weather to still be able to join in random festivities, I am stuck indoors unless I wish a walk through the mud, rain, and goodness knows what else might splash up on you as you walk. It is quite miserable yet, I cannot even seem to go further than two wheel rolls before my heart threatens to explode or stop beating."

She listened to Joanna's mention of not being at ease in a carriage as well and Alexandra nodded then realising that the woman probably did not see that and replied, "I wholly agree. The odd thing is, I am often quite fearless and some even say dangerously so, except this has apparently wounded me so much to even effect daily activites. It is highly unacceptable by me."

Then she smiled, "Oh, enough whining for the day, you must have newly arrived in Windsor. How have you found it so far?" Trying to change the subject to something a bit more pleasant.

[Joanna Craven]

Alexandra was flawlessly amiable, even warm, yet Joanna did detect just a smidgen of stress underlying her words. A slight tightening of the throat, perhaps? The other young woman did an admirable job of composing herself, however, and it was clear that she was not upset because of Joanna. The blonde found herself quite impressed by how the redhead handled herself in a difficult situation.

Joanna listened attentively, lips pursed in concern and sympathy as the lady spoke of her troubles. While she didn't have such a great fear of carriages anymore, Joanna knew what it was like to have a fear you were not entirely in control of. Indeed, she knew a lot about lacking self-determination in general. Yet with Alexandra's courage in the face of her physical suffering, Joanna suspected she would indeed overcome.

Her lips quirked a little at the mention of the fear being "unacceptable". Having so much she could not claim to command, it was but a silly desire to rule over her life so completely that just one relatively small barrier remained. Funny how attitudes were shaped by circumstance.

The blind girl wished she could help in some way, but she was powerless beyond empathising. "It is difficult to relinquish control to forces outside of ourselves," she said, nodding. "I think that, in most cases, a strong will—such as yours obviously is—will overcome. It will be a struggle to reach that point, no doubt, and might take some months or even years, but one day this will be a memory so distant that you might even chuckle at!" She smiled gently at that, not wanting to trivialise the situation, but seeking to be optimistic nonetheless.

At the change of subject, Joanna smiled brightly. "You are not whining, I assure you," she said firmly. "But, yes, I am newly arrived. It is a first for me, to be away from home and my family and to be moving amongst such highly esteemed personages! I must admit that I feel a bit like a leaf being tossed about in the wind, though I am sure I will find solid ground as the days go on."

Her demeanour turned a little shy as she decided to open up a little to the kind woman. "If I may ask, did you find court to be intimidating when you first arrived?" she inquired. "I do wonder if it is my particular circumstances or perhaps my personality make it seem so vast and overwhelming." It was not a lament, for her tone remained cheerful enough. She was merely curious.

"I don't suppose you might have any advice as to how to feel more 'at home', so to speak?" she added, though she looked as if she wanted to take that back promptly. "Oh, do excuse me, for you must think me quite the inquisitor! I do not mean to squeeze information out of you, I assure you!"

[Alexandra Neuville]

Alexandra was rather impressed at Lady Joanna Craven despite being blind, the woman seemed to be nonplussed at such an odd scenario. If she were blind, it would perhaps frighten her beyond belief. It was simply not polite to ask if she was born this way, or rather how she had come to be blind and felt that they did not know each other well enough for her to bring it up.

A dimpled grin was given as Joanna gave her inspirational thoughts. "When that day comes, I shall hope it is with laughter and a nice glass of wine." She giggled and gave a small sigh, "Although, I often have experienced these memories that do now make me chuckle but at the time was quite devastating. It is often quite silly what one experiences is later quite amusing."

The woman's smile was lovely and only helped enhance her beauty. She was also very kind. More laughter escaped, "Oh, apparently the whirlwind effect is quite common. My first season had me busier than I have ever been while I felt as if I had lost my mind with so much to experience. I suppose it is the mix of a whirlwind and the pressure of being pushed back by a wave of the ocean."

Then Alexandra touched the girl's hand. "It will eventually become less overwhelming once you get used to it. It is like learning something new. At first it takes you by storm, and then there are many an error and once you pass those trials a pattern begins to form that allows you to overcome it all."

"There is no need to apologise for curiosity, my dear. It is often what drives us and I dread the day that I become as jaded as most that you find at the King's court." She squeezed the girl's hand and pulled back, "As for advice, I had once told someone that you want to never show fear. Be fierce but always polite of course. Soon enough you know who to deal with, who to avoid and who you enjoy for company."

The seat of the carriage was well sprung at least and did not make her backside ache. The child earlier had not liked her idea for trying to break an irrational fear and had given to rubbing her belly as she bounced a little.

"Where do you come from, Lady Joanna?" She asked, starting with what she hoped was an easy question and not too intrusive.

[Joanna Craven]

Joanna was pleased that Alexandra seemed to hold to a similar cheerful outlook on life and chose to be optimistic above all. Their troubles acknowledged, both women in their own way were nonetheless venturing to move past them. Perhaps Joanna was not so courageous and bold as the flame-haired beauty and not even half as sure of herself, but that only made her admire the more seasoned woman. It was very good of Alexandra to be so helpful and patient, for Joanna imagined that many other girls went about nipping at their elder's ankles like over affectionate puppies. She was surely quite fortunate to have found such a warm reception!

The blonde smiled a little shyly when the redhead touched her hand, but returned the squeeze, looking quite pleased by the gesture. Since she could not see smiles and other facial indicators, touch was an important sensation for her—perhaps the most important one, at least in an emotional sense. While it was true that much could be garnered from a person's tone, there was nothing more meaningful than reaching out to another human being.

"Excellent advice indeed," Joanna said with a firm smile and a nod. "I thank you deeply for sharing your experience. It really is invaluable to me to have another opinion on the matter and I will certainly take your wise words to heart!"

She thought she did manage to be polite, though she would certainly work on hiding her fear at all times and being a bit tougher. In some situations, Joanna found it quite easy to relax and converse with ease and others were a bit more daunting. Knowing that she was capable of owning a conversation and keeping her head up, however, was proof that she merely needed to practice, practice, practice until she was confident at all times...or as much so as was possible!

The younger woman looked a touch surprised, but pleased by the question. "I hail from Yorkshire, in a lovely stretch of land along the coast. The family estate is situated almost squarely between Whitby and Scarborough," she explained, her eyes drifting off to the side briefly as the familiar sounds of home rushed through her mind: the crunching and grinding of sand and rocks beneath her feet; the talkative water, gurgling and splashing along the shore; the high-pitched cries of sea birds and, if she were very fortunate, the whoosh and snap of a feathered predator claiming a hapless fish. She missed it, much more than she would ever admit; however, she was no less eager to explore this new place.

Joanna decided it probably would not be too forward to venture a little further into the realm of personal questions. "If I might ask, is your husband French?" she inquired, knowing that he was from the lady's name, but hoping he hadn't recently passed or was otherwise an unwelcome topic. "I have quite a love for the language; it was the first I learned and by far the most elegant and melodic I've ever had the pleasure of hearing. I have never been able to visit, to my regret, but I should very much like to travel across the water one day."

While she could have asked more specific questions, Joanna decided to keep the conversation pressure-free, allowing her companion to go into detail where she saw fit and not feel obligated to respond in a particular manner.

[Alexandra Neuville]

There were so many people that Alexandra have already met and it was not even for a full season at that. She knew that there were a lot more she had not have the pleasure of meeting as well. Often times her approach was rather unconventional but it did weed out all of the unpleasant people right off. Meeting Joanna was a lovely distraction and she hoped the young lady succeeded in whatever endeavours she was set upon.

She always tried to stay an optimist and had never worn the badge of pessimism well, but at the moment her views tend to fall as that of a realist. Amazingly enough it did tend to fall more into the pessimistic mindset. A pity, but Alexandra was never one to mince about the truth either. This conversation for some reason made her realise all of this and hoped that Joanna's enthusiasm will find her some powerful patrons. Of course, Joanna could follow her down a path that seemed to have picked up the less fortunate and end up fighting those powerful patrons. Rather awkward and she knew that continually siding with the wrong people would get her hurt especially when her own patrons were rather fickle and impossible to keep pleased for long.

"No trouble at all. I hope they give you strength in whatever you might experience." Alexandra replied smiling which could probably be heard in her words. She listened as Joanna told her a bit of where she had come from trying to recall whom else she had met that hailed from Yorkshire. Sadly, no names immediately came to mind.

The inquiry about her husband made Alexandra a bit surprised but having already fallen silent while listening it gave her a few seconds to answer. "Yes indeed. My husband is French. Sadly, I only have the general education for the language itself, although I have begun to broaden my education with my lord husband as pedagogue." Her eyes twinkled for she loved to learn something new and hoped to keep at it at least to be fluent someday.

"Did you have any aspirations for Windsor upon your arrival?" She asked having always been rather curious to know what brought new comers to the English King's court. It also allowed her to know where she might even be able to open a door if one is available at least. Plus, it did helped her to get to know someone a bit more than how they were enjoying the place and how wonderful the weather seemed to be holding up--all rather boring and bland questions when people and their real responses exhilarated her as well as made the positively real to her. A lot were so polite to ensure secrets were not spilled or if they divulged from the path of boring and innane questions would threaten to melt the mask that they had carefully constructed as jaded courtiers. Alexandra knowing from the start that she would continually fail at being jaded if not hardened and instead had decided to embrace it fully.

[Joanna Craven]

The blind girl smiled warmly as Alexandra assured her that the advice was freely given. "It will give me strength," she said with quiet firmness. Indeed, Joanna took the advice of others quite seriously, especially when she took such a liking to the person in question, as she had to the kindly flame-haired woman.

The blonde laughed lightly at the mention of the Lord's teaching persona. "If ever you would like to practice in a relaxed atmosphere, Lady Neuville, I am always happy to exercise my linguistic muscles, certainement¹," she offered with a smile, her accent on that last word quite excellent. She might have said more, but didn't wish to force the poor woman into speaking French right then and there.

As to the question of Windsor and her aspirations, Joanna paused to think for a brief moment. What she hoped to accomplish upon setting out was not particularly tangible or exciting, though her goals were growing by the hour as she met more courtiers and was introduced to new ideas and experiences. What had begun as a general exploration, an adventure into the unknown before her parents sought a husband for her, was turning into an opportunity to be a part of society in ways Joanna had never really thought were possible. She had assumed she would be less warmly received than she had been and that she would have more trouble participating in events and making friends than was the truth. Clearly she had been more pessimistic than she had realised, without even meaning to be. Then again, she'd had no real way of knowing how these great men and women would respond to her until she dipped her toes in the water. How wonderful indeed that her worries had been proved unnecessary!

"To be honest, I thought little about specific accomplishments when I left my home," Joanna admitted with a touch of chagrin. "Being separated from my family was enough of a major change that I think I was simply living each moment at a time, like a sleepwalker stumbling through the waking world. Yet, as I've settled in and explored a bit and met such wonderful people, I've formed clearer notions of what I wish to achieve, though all are quite modest goals. In short, I would simply like to use my talents, such as they are, in a constructive way—in some manner that will be useful to others.

"I was fortunate enough to speak with Lord Cumberland this afternoon, for instance, and he was quite understanding of certain of my philosophic and scientific interests and had several recommendations for me that I hope to pursue. If he is able to find someone to read and write for me, then I think I should be able to do anything I set my mind to!" she joked lightly.

"Oh! I do not suppose you know of the newly formed Garden Society?" she inquired. "I have a keen interest in plants and flowers and was hoping to participate, although I am not quite certain whom I ought to seek out!"

* 1. I am sure it's obvious, but "certainly"

[Alexandra Neuville]

Alexandra was finding Joanna to be quite a delight and figured that the girl was worth championing if assistance was needed. Of course, at the same time she was not in a position to actually be a benefactress. She also felt as if she was jumping to conclusions by thinking such thoughts and pushed them out straight away.

"I keep him on his toes and it is rather hilarious to have him huff and puff a bit when I enunciate something poorly. It does reflect poorly on my comprehension but worth the reputation." The fiery-haired girl replied. "Oh, my dear, please just call me Alexandra. I feel that while we are stuck in this unmoving closed carriage we can drop formalities." Then she giggled, "Lovely! My husband would be estatic that there is someone that is not intent on butchering his mother tongue. I do hope I have an opportunity to introduce you to him."

Aquamarine eyes observed the beautiful girl silently studying her features as she thought on Alexandra's question. At Joanna's admittance, she could hear her companion giggling, "I believe that you have described it quite well, my dear, being at the King's court does tend to be a bit overwhelming. I would imagine that you are here to wed and to find a suitable match to please your family, but that is why most ladies are here so I try to see what their own motives are. No one just wants to get married--it would become rather boring if that is all they wished."

"Talents? What sort of talents do you wish to use?" Alexandra's curiosity piqued as Joanna brought on a rather interesting topic.

Her head tilted as she mentioned meeting Prince Rupert and mentioned the conversation that they had together. "I have never met the man before, but he sounds rather interesting and must have been a wonderful discussion." She replied happily. "Indeed! I always believe that anything can be done with some hard work and determination."

She gave a dimpled grin as Joanna mentioned the Garden Society finding they had several similar interests. "That would be lovely. While I stayed at the Savoy Embassy, I was given a plot of land to plant a garden of my own. Then I headed to my grandfather's estate where I also planted another garden as well. Beautiful but also holds utility a wonderful combination in my opinion. I can drop your name to Lady Oakham who I believe is one of the officers of the Garden Society, but I would imagine you may meet her before I do upon your continued adventures at Windsor."

[Joanna Craven]

Joanna's face lit up when Alexandra told her that she could drop the title; she could scarcely believe the lady was so comfortable with her as to allow the familiarity. She had to be doing something right, then, didn't she? Oh, it was such a relief not to be a social buffoon!

"How wonderful!" she exclaimed when the other woman seemed happy to take up her offer. "I should be honoured to meet your Lord husband, mil—I mean, Alexandra. Oh, what a lovely name that is!" Ah, but now she was getting carried away. "I am not certain my efforts would meet with his approval, but I daresay I shall not grate on his ears too much," she added modestly.

Alexandra's giggles encouraged a few of Joanna's own, for the sound was such a pretty and cheery one that it was quite infectious. At the mention of a match, Joanna's cheeks flushed. She was becoming slowly accustomed to the notion that she was not perceived as poorly as she had expected, though the thought of someone choosing to wed a blind girl…was it really possible? Of course, with a dowry and with a wife who was basically a prisoner in her own home lest her husband allowed otherwise, perhaps her hand might be vigorously pursued by certain types. Except her father would never allow anyone unworthy to wed her. Joanna was completely confident in his love and concern for her well-being and even her happiness, as much as was possible.

"Yes, I am to do my duty and wed," she confirmed with a nod. "My family have been patient with me and have put little pressure on my shoulders this season, though after the recess I think that will no longer be the case." She looked uncertain and even a little scared, but the dark emotions passed quickly and she offered a little smile once more. "I am sure that marriage is not nearly so frightening as it might seem," she said firmly, almost as if trying to convince herself of that "fact". Yet to her, being so fundamentally helpless, putting herself in someone's power who was not a family member would always be a little frightening.

Alexandra's interest in gardening was a great windfall indeed and Joanna clapped her hands together, grinning. "Oh, thank you!" she exclaimed quietly, but with great pleasure. "I should be honoured to meet Lady Oakham and to hear more of this society! My talents—perhaps the word is too strong—are…hmmm, how to put it? I have an interest in plants and their habits, so to speak, and have taken to monitoring details of their behaviour in various soils, how they fare when subjected to various weather patterns and so forth. Just a little something to pass the time over the years. Other than that, I've an interest in learning new languages and in generally exploring the world and the more abstract nature of humanity. There is little I should not like to experience, I think!"

Not really thinking her own pursuits were very interesting, nor easy to explain, she turned back to Alexandra's. "What did you plant, if I might ask? My knowledge of flora is limited to the Yorkshire area, so I would love to hear more about what you have cultivated! By your mention of utility, I take it that there are medicinal uses to some plants?" she inquired, unknowingly mirroring Alexandra's earlier tip of the head.

[Alexandra Neuville]

Alexandra could not help but smile at Joanna's enthusiasm at the offer of meeting her French husband. "I would imagine there will be quite a bit of planned events that we will run into each other once again for introductions." She replied happily.

The young woman laughed as she said, "My lord husband is rather amiable and I a gentleman. I think even if his ears were grated upon or toes stepped on he presses on."

She felt a bit sorry for the blind woman. Her own experience was not really a story that she liked to share. She had despised her first husband who had met an early demise. Even taking his name was not an option and despite the rumored truths that spilled forth regarding her being a widow, Alexandra had introduced herself as Alexandra Rosewyck burying and burning any remnants of the family name Sams.

This current marriage was her idea with the assistance of the King in finding someone to protect her reputation after spending several nights with him. Now that she was wed, and the child was not Neuville's there was a degree of safety for Alexandra. Joanna's life is about to take off, but she had a feeling that the girl was rather resilient to survive no matter what was thrown in her path as long as she had someone she could trust to be a guide.

"I wish you the best on a happy and profitable union, my dear. The unknown does tend to cause a certain amount of fear, but I believe that you will be able to see behind the masks of the courtiers to ensure a successful marriage." She replied sounding sincere finding it better to encourage than to scare.

"A woman after my own heart. My goodness, that sounds rather wonderful!" Alexandra exclaimed after hearing Joanna's interests. "I am glad I could help even if it only to pass on the word."

When asked what she had planted, the fiery haired woman replied with unmasked excitement, "I started with mint, coriander, basil, chamomille and parsley. With a bit of assistance from London's coroner, I had also put in rose bushes, gardenias, lavender, freesias and sweet peas. Captain Bennett also has quite an interest in butterflies."

"Do you also know a bit of herbs and their healing properties?" She asked curiously having parted ways with Doctor Hyde whom always gave her a feeling of unease especially when the man touched and smelt her hair.

[Joanna Craven]

Joanna nodded in agreement at the mention of other events. There did seem to be quite a few that cropped up on short notice or through whispers—curious, that, but rather fun and a touch mysterious as well—yet there were others like the hunt and the masked ball, of course. She had no objection to the lack of firm plans; in fact, she was rather enjoying her wandering, for the present.

"If he is only half so amiable as you, then I have nothing to fear," Joanna joked, though there was truth to those words. Alexandra had such a sunny personality, but also a fiery strength. Her ferocity did not leap out, teeth bared; no, it was much more powerful than that, for it was the foundation of all her words and actions. Joanna had never known anyone with such a strong, yet gentle character and she could not but marvel.

At the talk of marriage, Joanna nodded and smiled as best she could, clinging to the sincerity in Alexandra's words. The blonde was not quite as sure of her own discernment, particularly given one particularly abhorrent occurrence in the past; yet, she was aware that she was older and wiser now and that she would only be twenty times more careful as she waded through the deception and intrigue of court. Which by no means guaranteed that she would not trip and fall flat on her face, literally or figuratively, but she'd be damned if she wasn't going to set out with a positive attitude!

"Thank you," she said with a sheepish, but grateful smile. It was odd to think of herself as a wife, but not an entirely unpleasant thought, were she to respect and care for her husband. "When marriage finally looms on the horizon for me, you are likely to find me tugging at your sleeve, agitatedly asking a hundred silly questions!" She giggled a little at that, though she could definitely see it occurring!

As Alexandra listed the plants, Joanna recalled the particular smell of each one, and in some cases the taste. She also considered the particular feel of the plants, from their stalks and leaves to their delicate or more hardy petals. She sighed softly, her smile wide and dreamy. "Oh my, that sounds absolutely glorious!" she declared. "Lavender and sweet peas are, to my nose, among the best scented flowers. And the shape of the climbing sweet pea is very interesting—when it comes to feeling it, that is. I imagine it looks very beautiful as well."

Yet there was more to speak of than just flowers. "Butterflies!" Joanna exclaimed with a wide smile. "Oh, I hear they are the most beautiful creatures! Would that I could see their wings, which I am told are extremely thin and often brightly coloured. Ah, but I've felt them land on my hands and arms and the sensation is breathtaking! Such a light touch, yet one unlike that of any other creature! Does Captain Bennett undertake any studies of the creatures?" she asked, now quite curious about the coroner.

"Oh, I fear that my knowledge of herbs is minimal," Joanna replied with a shake of her head. "I've learned a little in my studies and should very much like to know more. I have heard high praise of the Chelsea Physic Garden. Have you ever visited? I hear that there are some stunning exotic plants in the collection!"

[Alexandra Neuville]

Alexandra blushed at Joanna's joke and giggled before replying happily, "I cannot wait until the day arrives." She would have also introduced her to Diana who was one of her closest friends, but had not seen about at all which made her wonder if the Howard had arrived to Windsor.

She grinned and laughed heartily, "I am still figuring these things out myself and rather good at botching things up, but I adore questions hundreds or silly whichever comes first. Most see marriage as a contract and I find that keeping emotions out of it helps and just finding someone kind and polite may be better than the smooth talking womanizer. Of course, others come from another school of thought and have fallen in love with their husbands." Thoughts went towards Sybilla who was quite insistant that such an emotion was necessary, but Alexandra still had great doubts about it.

The way it was described by Joanna was rather interesting and gave her a bit of insight on how the woman without sight coped without that particular sense. She imagined the lovely blond had to use other senses mainly smelling things as well as taste and touch giving Alexandra an idea to try things out herself especially when she wanted to create and test perfumes. "Oh, thank you so much for saying so. I cannot maintain the one at the Embassy any longer, but the gardeners enjoyed it enough to want to continue its upkeep which is enough for now."

The fiery-haired girl replied with a smile, "I do believe he does and he is quite a knowledgeable man. I do hope he had made his way to Windsor finding out he is quite taken with his work as the head coroner. If he is in Windsor, I shall be sure to give out introductions."

"I had begun to learn a bit here and there and most of my knowledge is being maintained through what I read from the library books, but a Doctor Hyde seemed to be a rather nice old man except for his idiosyncrasies which drove me a bit mad. I even wanted to smack his hand away when he wanted to play with one of my red curls." Alexandra whispered a bit crossly and realising she should not speak so rudely of someone Joanna had never met and shifted to answer her companion's question.

"I have never visited but had been meaning to get lost in it for a whole day. There tends to be a lot of events and circumstances that make the more scientific pursuits to be pushed aside with the distractions. One of my closest friends had just married a physician. He is a fine and upstanding man. If you ever need any assistance, Doctor James Winchester would be able to perhaps assist and I find him very amiable and not as intrusive." She was always trying to promote new patients from the nobility towards James to ensure his and Noni's livelihood.

"We should make a plan to go." Alexandra included with a dimpled grin, "Making an appointment together would prevent errant tasks to distract from a pleasurable if not educational outing."

[Joanna Craven]

"Oh yes," Joanna agreed readily, nodding at the mention of a kind and polite man being better than the alternative. "I have an easy manner, I think, and would like someone of a similar character—not roguish, not flamboyant, but nice and clever and perhaps a little witty too. I think I could love such a man, with time, though I would in the least want to respect him and feel I could trust him." She fidgeted for a brief moment, biting the inside of her lower lip and looking upset for just a second. The memories and mistakes of her past weighed heavily on her heart, but that is where they would have to stay. She could not bear the scorn, for she had already borne enough from herself.

"I think that love means something different to everyone," she mused, pushing past those difficult thoughts. "I suspect I shall only know if I believe it's real when I feel it…or not!" She smiled a little, showing she wasn't worried about not being in love or out to chase some silly fantasy. Even if she was young and silly in some ways, she had a firm head on her shoulders in others.

"Oh, I am sure they will keep it healthy and beautiful," Joanna said with a bright smile, knowing it must be difficult for Alexandra to give up something she had put so much work and heart into. "No matter how it might change over the years, it will always be your garden."

Joanna was positively thrilled by the prospect of meeting the butterfly loving coroner. What a fascinating duality: to pore over the dead and yet to have an interest in such beautiful life! "I should love to meet him," she enthused. "Oh, you know the most interesting people! No doubt because you have so many fascinating talents yourself!" She grinned, feeling almost dizzy with happiness.

At the mention of Dr. Hyde and his fixation with Alexandra's hair, Joanna grimaced a little. It did not sound like an idiosyncrasy so much as an unwelcome advancement! "It is a good thing you've found a more professional doctor!" she said with a firm nod.

"Dr. Winchester," she repeated, nodding and committing the name to her memory. "How wonderful to know there is someone kind and talented should I have any medical needs! Thank you for the recommendation; I greatly appreciate it." Given that Joanna was prone to little injuries once in a while due to her clumsy feet, it was not unthinkable that she might require a doctor's care, though obviously she hoped that would not be the case.

Euphoric would aptly describe the look on Joanna's face when Alexandra mentioned making an appointment to see the garden. "Oh, that would be most lovely," she said, nodding eagerly. The redhead's company had been most enjoyable and it would be a great pleasure to see more of her and to learn about plants in the process, too! Could there be anything better?

"Perhaps if Captain Bennett is around he might like to come as well?" she suggested, wondering if his help with the garden indicated an interest in plants as well. "Or any others...you would know better than I! My schedule is quite open. Ah…but I do not have anyone to read or write for me at present, so there may be a delay with any messages as I run about trying to find a kind soul to impose upon," she warned, her smile turning apologetic.

[Alexandra Neuville]

Alexandra was not as great of a match maker was the King was not really having any real power, but inwardly she thought that Joanna and the Earl of Chesterford would have been a bit perfect for each other. Pity that he was destined to marry Grace St. John. She saw all of those traits in James, but it was just not done to put names in another person's head with that person was technically not even available.

She noticed Joanna's change in manner and it seemed that something perhaps a memory weighed her down significantly. There were all these things to ask bluntly, but Alexandra did not wish to appear boorish knowing well enough that her own past was riddle with the loss of her parents and the death of her late husband.

"I think my husband and I at least adore and enjoy each other but it was not a love pairing. I would imagine someday it would be as you mentioned and I can learn to love him." Not a chance... She could not afford to let anyone ever get that close to her again. Respect was all she could give, as well as her loyalty to the English King. She already felt and saw complications arising, but like a game of Queen's chess she would just stare blankly at the board of pieces. It was those situations that she wished she were a great tactician, strategist, and politically minded. Often times she just felt a bit clueless and muddled through things as best as she could with her coiffure intact.

She smiled at Joanna's reassurances about her garden, "As long as it makes one smile while they enjoyed what I was trying to create." Until the Duchess of Savoy commands it all torn up with her spite towards Alexandra upon that woman's return. The thought brought on a bit of dread as she knew exactly what she was doing helping Noni to get married to a meer physician and Charles Whitehurst to try to prevent it, but she and the innocent cherub like woman had won. At least she hoped that her friend was having that dream-like life and that it was as 'perfect' as it got. She loved Noni dearly but sometimes the woman had the mind of a child and you just wanted to put her in a corner to keep track of her. Of course no one put a princess in a corner unless she was counting down while playing a game of hide-n-seek.

There was already a list that was amassing on whom to meet and whom to avoid. "I have put his name on the list to look out for along with Lady Oakham. She would be estatic to know that word of the Garden Society is picking up." She wondered if Dr. Hyde's fixation was particularly upon her shade of red or some attraction to her height, or smell? Although she had to admit she did not care to find out. Alexandra giggled, "I have a few talents, but it is often my insatiable curiosity that even stops the insecurities that might arise in meeting people. Each person has a story to tell, but to get them comfortable enough to tell it. I would imagine there are many storytellers out there, but most guard their stories as it may also be their secrets. It seems that most courtiers do not talk so freely about themselves unless it is some innane detail about the weather or who their dressmaker was. To a certain extent, I love listening to people talk and most of the people I run into I enjoy the company immensely."

It was also a delight that Joanna was taken by her advice as well as one who liked to give and take with a conversation. She had some conversations with people that had the personality of a rock and could not squeeze out any semblance of a conversation much like talking at a rock.

"It is my pleasure, Joanna, and any questions at all, if I know the answer to it, I will try to help." Alexandra put herself out there once again when she had expressed to herself that she needed to start thinking a bit more selfishly. It was quite obvious to herself that she continued to fail in that regard.

"Oh, that is a grand idea, perhaps next season we shall make an appointment to visit." She replied with a certain amount of excitement. There was again mention about a person to read and write for Joanna and she could not help but to ask, "Where are you currently staying at, my dear?" Alexandra tried to offer herself up with her interest all of her charity work having been halted while at Windsor, but something kept her silent from offering. "I think arrangements could be made, Joanna, and soon you will find your writing reader." She tried not to be disappointed herself and made it a point to at least keep her eyes open for someone to help Joanna while she had to worry about keeping herself away from poverty.

[Joanna Craven]

Joanna smiled widely as Alexandra spoke of her relationship with her husband. Was there anything better than adoring another person and enjoying their company? Was that not love? To Joanna, it would be—along with trust, of course. Ah, but perhaps that was her naiveté rearing its silly head; perhaps once she experienced male company a bit more she would realise that things war not so simple at all. What did she really know of such affections, after all? Not one jot. Still, a girl could dream…

"I am so pleased that you get along well with your husband," she said earnestly. She didn't even stop to think that Alexandra might be lying; she wanted to believe that the woman was happy enough because she was quite a wonderful person and certainly deserved an excellent life with a good man.

The garden certainly made Joanna smile to think about, at least. "I think that gardening might be one of the most under-appreciated skills," she mused. "The planting of seeds, the careful tending of plants through errant weather…it all leads to a beautiful and lasting reward that might bring a smile to hundreds upon hundreds of faces! I suppose it is a small thing, when compared to other achievements, but I must say I think these natural delights are vastly important. They seem to feed the very soul."

Joanna giggled a little too, for she had a similar curiosity, even if it manifested a bit differently. How fortuitous indeed that they had met! It was very early in their relationship, but Joanna suspected she had met a kindred spirit. Of course, she was but a pale shadow compared to Alexandra!

"I also yearn to always know more," she admitted happily. "I fear I have few exciting stories to tell, nor many secrets, but I do have a wide variety of interests and quite enjoy discussing nearly any subject, though I might stumble along merrily at points! As I could not undertake certain ladylike activities, my hours were filled with extra lessons," she added, feeling that helped to explain her character and rather academic interests. "That extra tutoring has left me with quite an insatiable mind!"

She smiled widely, adding, "The weather might be interesting, under the right circumstances, but a dressmaker is a most dull topic of conversation! I find fashion interesting in that it is tactile, but why should my family spend lavishly on something I can never truly appreciate? Why, I've found that sometimes the most interesting fabrics to explore with my fingers are, in fact, the least expensive!"

At Alexandra's assurance that she was unopposed to questions, Joanna gave her a warm look and nodded gratefully. Even with her blessing, the blind girl would not bother her unless she was in a truly frightening or confounding situation that she saw no other way out of. At least until they knew each other better. It was neither right nor appealing to be clingy so early in a friendship.

Joanna nodded at the mention of making an appointment for the following season, thinking how wonderful it was to have something in the future to look forward to. "There must be no 'perhaps' about it!" she declared, trying out her fierceness. She only just managed not to laugh at herself.

"I am on the ground floor of the Octagonal tower, in what I am told was a small reception area before it was made into a bedroom for me," she said, adding the detail in case the other woman wondered how a bedroom had suddenly appeared where it ought not to be.

"Oh no, I am not too concerned," the blonde replied, trusting that Prince Rupert had the matter well in hand. "Yet it might be several days before I have a way to keep up with correspondence, so I did not want you to think I would ever purposefully ignore you!"

[Alexandra Neuville]

"Thank you." Alexandra replied happily, "I am happy that the match was made." ...in time. She thought to herself with a smile.

"I think it is not necessarily that it is under-appreciated. Often times, people tend to have other interests that tend to eclipse gardening and usually servants tend to do the menial labor. There are also women that dislike getting involved with the earth and maintaining the more fickle challenges." Alexandra included her own thoughts on the matter.

"Others that love tending to plants have a rather nurturing side of them and is fascinated about watching them grow from seedling to eventually bear fruit...well some." She giggled as she had the opportunity to see the lovely green sproutlings and even a few flowers before she had to leave the embassy.

She giggled, "Well, I would imagine Windsor will be quite the adventure for you Joanna. Stories are only exciting when something unpleasant happens to yourself or someone else that allows you to look back on it with laughter or rather those are only a few of my stories."

With a grin, Alexandra stated, "I would highly encourage you to make pursuit towards a scientific arena. There are so many amazing minds that I would imagine that you would never wish to leave and those that appreciate an insatiable curiosity."

"You are well taken care of, my dear by dress alone, a lovely picture and even more real than a painted portrait." She complimented even though the young lady was not able to see for herself and imagined that there was a lot of doting upon their beautiful charge.

The young lady's attempts at fierceness made Alexandra grin and chuckle as she exclaimed enthusiastically. "That is the spirit!"

"Oh, I am so glad that they were able to assist, I would think the stairs would be a treacherous feat even if you have someone with you. Sadly, I am on the fourth floor of the same tower, but I get by and try to limit so many outfit changes and having to re-climb the stairs so often." She mentioned trying not to sound as if she was complaining knowing there were far worse things like being on the fifth floor.

Alexandra laughed in delight, "Thank you for letting me know. I shall definitely keep that in mind." Just then she shifted to look out the window looking to be getting quiet late. "Joanna, it appears that it has grown quite late. I was wondering if you and your servant would like to go back in the carriage. I still have not gotten enough confidence to use it myself, but it is paid in full and would be a waste if someone does not use it."

[Joanna Craven]

The talk of plants and nurturing was interesting—a perspective that Joanna had not considered, though it was quite logical. Perhaps flowers were her children, to some part of her mind. Obviously actual children were expected of her, too, though Joanna was secretly frightened at the thought of having a human being in her care. How frustrating not to be able to do the simplest things, such as hold the babe, without aid! What child would want to lead its mother about, rather than the other way around? Happily, there was ample distraction to prevent Joanna from dwelling on those thoughts.

"I, for one, love the chance to stick my hands into the dirt and coax the plants to life." She grinned at that, recalling the cold, moist sensation and the funny pressure when the stuff became stuck under her nails. No doubt she looked frightful, but she always felt so sure and in control at those moments.

Joanna smiled at the mention of unpleasant happenings, trying to get into the spirit of the conversation, but it was obvious that something was dampening her enjoyment. She was quick to sound perfectly at ease, however. "Yes, I do look forward to adventures and misadventures alike," she said. "I suppose that any experience is better than none at all. And as of this moment, I am sorely lacking in them! I shall do my best to remedy the situation in the coming days!"

She merely beamed and nodded at the mention of pursuing her scientific interests. While she wasn't entirely sure how to go about making all the connections she sought, she would have time to make plans over the next day or two and then perhaps after the wedding she would spring into action. It would be much, much easier, she knew, if her parents were here. Joanna was beginning to regret her decision to attend court alone, for as much as she did enjoy the challenge, sometimes she did feel very lost. Still, with company such as Alexandra and others she had met, she would no doubt find her way.

A bit surprised by the compliment on her appearance, Joanna blushed. "That is very kind of you to say," she said modestly, though she did look pleased. She certainly appreciated the confidence boost, even if the subject of appearance would always be a confusing one to her. It was very odd to walk around not knowing how you would be perceived to others. It was freeing in a way, certainly, yet also a bit nerve-wracking at times.

"The fourth floor, oh my!" Joanna said, imagining that was quite a climb to make. "Were I you, I think I should wear one dress a day and glare furiously at anyone who scoffed!" she jested.

"Oh, is it late? Goodness, I wish I had better way of gauging time," the blind girl said with a wry smile and a shake of her head. Temperature fluctuations sometimes gave her cues, but it was hardly a reliable way of measuring the hours. "Sitting with you has certainly been a pleasant way to spend the late afternoon." Her smile turned warm once more.

"That is so very kind of you!" she added at the mention of the carriage needing an occupant. "Are you sure you wish to walk alone?" She had to at least ask, but she was happy to take Alexandra's offer without too much protest, lest she appear ungrateful.

"If you ever wish to try a carriage ride again and would like company to provide a distraction, I am more than happy to oblige," she offered. Perhaps if Alexandra could get lost in a good conversation, she might feel a little less panicked? Tricking the brain into looking elsewhere, so to speak, would sometimes work for Joanna in stressful or difficult situations.

[Alexandra Neuville]

"It is almost as if a gardener is given power by God as one of his life keepers." Alexandra giggled and then realised that religion did tend to put people off or on edge at least and bit her bottom lip to gauge Joanna's reaction.

"I do believe that the next time we will meet you will be brimming with stories, Joanna. I shall expect it and a couple shared." She teased in her encouragement. It was her hopes that Joanna went far and was ambitious enough to survive or witty enough to. Despite her disability most would hopefully overlook it while enjoying the woman's company as she had.

Alexandra laughed at Joanna's jest, "It is usually of no consequence. I apparently have a wonderous constitution, but my hopes is once the child is born I shall finally be able to return back to my more active self." Then she realised that Joanna was the first person that she had actually shared of her current state and shifted as if she was to try to get comfortable again. Often being in such a state a lot of people reacted differently. Some wondered why she was not already in confinement while others would fall over themselves to treat her with great care as if she were affected with a terminal illness. So to save herself from too much dilemma, her new gowns were set up to slim her figure and none was often times the wiser until she blabbed about it like an imbecile.

"Although, the one dress idea is a grand idea. I think I shall also consider putting leaves and twigs in my hair to scare off the poor animals that are being hunted in the area." She quickly added to cover up any possible awkwardness.

"It was a pleasure for me as well, Joanna, and it is my hopes that we shall see each other again very soon." She replied and then gave a dimpled grin, "I shall be quite all right, I have sat in this closed carriage for several hours and need to walk it off."

"Oh, that would be wonderful. I am willing to try anything at least once and have not considered trying distraction to see if I can at least pretend I am not in this terrifying contraption. Of course, I suppose having moved several revolutions while in the carriage is a couple of steps forward." Alexandra added and then she kissed the young lady upon the cheek. "Thank you for the company, my lady and have a lovely evening." She replied right afterwards and stepped out of the carriage without assistance but allowing Joanna's servant to enter as well.

Such a lovely lady. Be well. Alexandra thought as she began to head towards her room breathing as deeply as one could with a modified corset.

[Joanna Craven]

Joanna laughed lightly at the clever comment about gardeners being particularly touched by the divine. Even if she sometimes struggled to really connect with God, she certainly did feel she could understand and appreciate his creations. Perhaps she was closer to him than she realised when she was wrist deep in muck!

She was not quite so certain as Alexandra that there would be stories at their next meeting, but she was determined to do her best, nonetheless. It would be a pleasure to learn more about the fascinating and tenacious lady, but asking questions constantly was much too one-sided. She would simply have to cobble together some tales to swap somehow…

The blind girl, who could not imagine a more nurturing mother than the kind woman across from her, beamed at the mention of the pregnancy. It was always a pleasure to see good women blessed with offspring. She didn't stop to wonder why Alexandra was at court; she tended to assume, often foolishly, that others knew what was right and proper.

"Oh, congratulations!" she said earnestly. Now she saw why travelling in a carriage was particularly important. "My best hopes for your health and the child's. I wonder if he or she will inherit your fondness for plants," she mused with a bright smile.

Pleased that Alexandra seemed pleased, Joanna opened her mouth to speak, but left it hanging in surprise as the lady kissed her cheek. The gesture was one her mother and sisters often performed and somehow it made her at once miss her home and feel like she had found a new one. Since the woman was close, it was easy enough to grip her arm and squeeze gently, but firmly. She smiled warmly, hoping that the lady would be able to see by her expression just how much the affectionate action had meant to her.

"It was truly an honour to speak with a lady of your spirit and accomplishments," she said, smiling warmly. "My sincere thanks for the carriage, my dear Lady Neuville. I wish you the best of evenings."

Then Deedee was with her once more, asking her how she was and if she required anything, though Joanna did not hear her. She was momentarily lost in a cloud of happiness and quite unable to place her feet back on solid ground for the nonce. There was so much to consider and to aspire to, so many names to remember, so many plans to look forward to! Oh, curse not being able to write! How much she ached to compose a message to the lady to properly show her gratitude! She would simply have to hope that the kindly constable would find a suitable scribe for her soon.

Eventually, Joanna realised that the carriage was moving and made her apologies to Deedee, explaining the conversation in brief and referencing the names that had come up in case the plump servant happened to hear anyone talking about Lady Oakham or Captain Bennet and where they might be found. She said nothing of the pregnancy nor anything about the personal aspects of the discussion, keeping all of that safely in her heart.

OOC: Ready for close! Thanks for the lovely conversation!